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Hello World, the other day I was given the opportunity to speak to a youth group at a Church in Vallejo CA, (Tabernacle of David). The reason why I believe this event is worthy of note is because, of the 30 teenagers present, all of them have ambition and the desire to become successful in life! I have had the pleasure to speak with many youth groups yet this particular (governed by Pastor Nicholas McCray) collection of young folk has an amazing positive energy! Many are disadvantaged and experiencing the truest ills of life, yet they continue to live with great effort!
After my speech, I was able to sign a couple dozen copies of my book, Noesis, for the group. I spoke with each kid and asked him or her personal questions like, "What are you into and what will you pursue after high school? Surprisingly, I did not hear the typical response of, "I'm going to be a pro basketball or football star (Not that those goals are productive)."
I was moved that many of those students have applied thought to their future! For example, a young lady by the name of "Heaven" declared she would attend culinary school and become a Cook/Chef. Another young man told me he would become a medical physician as well as a singer of the gospel. I felt the passion in their tone and positive energy within their determination!
Another reason why I have chosen to write about this event is because several of the teens that attended the event actually wrote me (via email) that same evening. The questions ranged from academic advise to daily cooping skills needed to deal with their current life situations. One young lady explained how she has never had a relationship with her biological father (similar to my none existent relationship with my biological mother). The young lady stated she felt guilty and often blamed herself for her father not being involved in her life at all.
My advice was this, "I used to blame myself also yet I truly believe no child has to carry the burden of blame, just for being someone's child! I don't know your father to disrespect him yet guilt for his lack of involvement in your life is his own to deal with, not yours."
Another question was, "How do I deal with not knowing and having your biological mother involved in your life." My answer was as follow, "Well, I have been blessed to have and share love with my Foster Mother's and other surrogate mothers. They are not my biological mother(s), yet I am fortunate to share love with them! They have and continue to fill that void in my life."
So, the point of my writing this week is this; for anyone experiencing similar situations in regards to guilt and self blame for the absence of their parent or parents, please take heed to the ambition of the youth group from Vallejo CA Tabernacle of David and my life. The love you can allow others to share with you can be great, in spite of that love not coming from a biological parent!
Here is a quote from a woman I admire, truly, "For everyone of us that succeeds, it's because there's somebody there to show you the way out. The light doesn't always necessarily have to be in your family; for me it was teachers and school (Oprah Winfrey)."