(For every woman who needs closure)
So you know, I am still in love with you. I try to forget you yet your scent still wakes me in the AM hours. I wonder what that fragrance truly is, possibly a mixture of your sweat and my fear? Well, I may never find the answer to that question, but I will never forget the tone in your voice when you would profess your love for me, it was always so sincere. Unfortunately, our situation is clear. You are away from me and my thoughts are still severe.
I remember when our stomachs would touch. That meant you were pleased with me! Most of the time I experienced those moments within a hug. I find it amusing that I can recount those moments so vividly. Oddly enough, the situations in which I wronged you are not clear. I know now those memories are masked by my subconscious mind not truly wanting to accept my fear.
Is forgiveness enough to simply ask for? Has time cured the illness that I created in your heart? I may never know the answer to that question, yet I do know the answer to this question: "Can truth and desire exist between lovers who have lost respect for the sanctity of companionship?"
I will always need you yet I know you cannot, from a healthy perspective, need me. Your womanly gifts I took for granted. The nights you would cook for me after working a strenuous day. The comforting words you whispered in my ear that allowed me to fall into sleep. Those gifts prevented me from being weak!
It is important that you know, not necessarily for me, more so for your peace. You are the queen that I should have loved exclusively. I openly acknowledge the fault within me. Please know your future is truly what you will evoke mentally! Do not be bitter and challenge the next man emotionally. The next man is yours to cherish happily, as long as you allow him to love you freely.
This is only the start; I'll share more sentiments with you next week. Until then, consider me the conscience of every man that wants to repent after contributing to your grief.