Sweet patriot, square of jaw,
And demeanor of great command,
You fearlessly stand in defense of America,
And the savior of all God's chosen men.
Anointed by God as his personal envoy
To all men, corrupt and blind,
And charged with the swift and brutal destruction
Of all heathens of other kind.
You stand vigilant against all our enemies,
Both foreign and imagined within;
You vigorously guard against all that is evil,
And all that you see as sin.
You define God's needs and precious values,
In the most unambiguous tones,
And never once have you erred on behalf of truth,
To reveal "God's values" as merely your own.
You lead our troops in fearless glory,
Challenging Death to "Bring it on!"
Never thrusting your sword on the field of battle,
You fearlessly lead the charge by phone.
How selfless your will to guard America,
While hating the pillars upon which it stands.