"Women are lauded for encompassing unladylike traits such as violence and assertiveness; especially when they use those traits against men. It is why a lot of young men have developed a stance of indifference towards women, marriage and family."
Dr. Helen Smith, psychologist
For the longest, men have been looked at as the sole perpetrators of domestic violence. But just because that thought is popular, doesn't mean that it is the truth.
Men who beat women are usually male bitches-more than likely crapped on by their parents and not respected by their families. And, if those men are imprisoned, they will more than likely spend their lives behind bars as someone's female companion. Powerless from beginning to end.
So if domestic violence isn't always about power and control, then we must at least consider that other propaganda is BS, including the propaganda that claims men are always violent and women are always victims.
Let's take a look at some of the feminist propaganda that has given way to the masculinization of women, which laid the foundation for increased violence from women and a decrease in men's pursuit of marriage.
Feminism began as a very good thing. The concepts of equal pay for equal work and equal access for the equally qualified made good sense and made society a little better with each step toward those goals we took.
However, when women began to seek parity with men in arenas that are not to be celebrated, society was made anything but better.
According to a report in the Journal of Men's Studies, titled "The Feminization of Domestic Violence in America," contrary to society and the media's portrayal of women as "recipients of domestic violence...epidemiological surveys on the distribution of violent behavior between adult partners suggest gender parity."
Once Feminism turned the corner and sought to change the concept of maleness and femaleness, things began to deteriorate quickly.
According to psychologist Dr. Helen Smith, Feminism began to teach women to essentially shed most of their female attributes.
"Feminism taught the current generation of young women to unsex themselves," said Smith. "The reason they were taught to unsex themselves is because the Second Wave Feminists believed that femininity is inferior to masculinity. "
Once the goal of shedding femaleness was realized in a substantial portion of the female population, male/female relationships became problematic, if not impossible for the newly masculinized women who still wanted to date men.
"As a result (of shedding feminine behavior), women are lauded for encompassing unladylike traits such as violence and assertiveness-especially when they use those traits against men," said Smith. "Praise is heaped upon the women who are self-centered, uncouth, egotistical and devious. It is why a lot of young men have developed a stance of indifference towards women, marriage and family."
Reggie McCoy grew up with two loving parents who were still married by the time he met and fell in love with Cindy Johnson, a beautiful college grad who loved him as well. Reggie decided to end the relationship when Cindy began to exhibit aggressive and violent behavior she labeled as "independent" and indicative of a "strong Black woman." Reggie never saw his parents exhibit aggressive or violent behavior with each other and was confused and repelled when he saw it coming from Cindy.
To be clear, Feminists created a huge paradigm shift in society, and then began to blame men for the poor results, which include a sharp decline in the marriage rate, and a sharp incline in domestic violence initiated by women.
Frankly, the pervasiveness of destructive Feminist propaganda has facilitated the evolution of many women into something close to Vikings. And their status as violent, narcissistic and vengeful creatures has turned them into unmarriageable beings. It is this modern "turning of the shrew" that has dampened marriage rates more than any other development in society.
In a discussion forum for my column, one psychotic man-hater who curiously views herself as a "prize catch" for men because of her education and financial wherewithal, admitted to being disappointed in the changing of the times. Her disappointment comes because previously, men were working hard and dying early, leaving their widows in comfortable financial conditions, so that they could live out their senior years alone and comfortable.
If this is what men have to look forward to in a so-called "prize catch," why would any man with a working brain want to live under such parasitic circumstances?
Perhaps there was a time in society when women were beaten and suffered in silence, but today's young "ladies" are pursuing their equal rights to violence in more vicious ways than ever imagined and certainly with more verve.
In a study on sex differences in physically aggressive acts between heterosexual partners, titled Aggression and Violent Behavior, the author reports that while men were more likely than women to strangle, choke, or beat up their partners, women are more likely than men to throw something at their partners, as well as slap, kick, bite, punch and hit with an object.
And, some women are turning violence into a game.
A June 11, 1998 article in Westword notes that two sisters in the Denver area made a wide-reaching game of alleging domestic violence. Lives were interrupted and in some cases destroyed, because the knee-jerk response was to take the sisters at their word.
And, sometimes, the male victims themselves fail to grasp the seriousness of the violence being perpetrated against them.
In one survey of college students, twenty per cent of men who had been attacked by their girlfriends thought it was funny.
It is anything but funny.
A study from the Journal of Interpersonal Violence focusing on undergraduate students found that 30% of the men and 49% of the women studied reported using some form of aggression in their dating histories with a greater percentage of women engaging in severe physical aggression.
We are taught to recoil when we hear or see violence against women, but many of us seem to deny reality when we hear or see violence from women, which is sad, because much of that violence is meted out against children.
According to the Department of Health and Human Services, "children who had been physically abused by their birth parents were more likely to have suffered at the hands of their mothers than their fathers (60% versus 48%)."
As a result of some of the harshness displayed by some females today, there is a growing lack of interest in relationships, marriage and family. Many men, faced with the possibility of being harmed by a woman who will file for divorce and ask for half of the assets and custody of the children, simply choose not to marry at all.
If we truly seek to protect our families and decrease the violence that our children are exposed to, we would do well to take our heads out of the sand and realize that women have come into their own where violence is concerned.
Knowing is half the battle.
Darryl James is an award-winning author of the powerful new anthology "Notes From The Edge." He released his first mini-movie, "Crack," and will soon release his first full-length documentary. View previous installments of this column at www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at